Saturday, February 5, 2011

Monday, January 24, 2011

Ooh it's what I do to me

Self control, fuzzy troll
Tricks and gems
No one wins
My blood, my kin
Yes I defend
debate and flake but surely quake
Mistakes I make, prove I'm so real
So call me fake, mistakes your deal
Line the shuttered bows in rows
we'll grant them access to down below
the sensation of feeling comes through my eyes
The fish I'm reeling are quite the size
Forget about all your ties...
Remember that no one dies...
We reincarnate into a spirit
and split this illusion of good merit
Is your aura bright today?
Maybe tomorrow it will fade away...
With God we love this life
Don't mistake the strife for height

Thursday, January 20, 2011

wash your own brain

Master the insanity of denial and accept truth for a while. Four times the typical dose and my usual coast of thought is settled to a steady spot. I never knew it could feel so good to be alive, am I high? Hmph. No. Addiction has never controlled me but we've had some wild dances. Risque, to say the least. Most certainly, it was done with a chic approach to a lavish life of pamper. Most certainly, it is a past of mine. It was fun but I was freightened by what could become from a continnumm of self neglect. I can't kid myself, I have too much respect.

It's sacrifice makes strength for a cherised time, the pain is like hiking... the reward is like peaking a mountain of knowledge. Amazing. The review mirror is not worth a glance, there is such a greater future to seize. I'm embracing every breath like a flower in photosynthesis. Sensitivity is the depth to my existence... nothing is better understood than that you can feel. Emotion may be a heavy weight but I've always been so strong. I'm proud, brave, and real as fuck. I have grown to become the fuel to the fire I was once watching, admiring. The brain is emmensely powerful... you can psyche yourself into anything. This a new day, a new me. I'm a retired gangsta. This is me and everything I have to offer as I ditch the party life I once swam in daily. This is my creative, insane, ideological mind. I'm out on a limb but the breeze feels good.

I know the image I've drawn for some folks is not one they could have anticipated. For some reason, I had to prove I was a badass. For the sake of love, forget presumptions to hear what thunder bolted me straight. I feel like Benjamin Franklin discovering electricity, An oddball. But diverse actions create diverse reactions, sometimes beneficial. Do you like that electricity keeping you warm and lighting your screen? I believe you are in lust with your electricity, it is absolutely orgasmic. Would you like new innovation? Embrace diversity.

It is a beautiful life, appreciate. Discrimination is gross. You can choose to accept me, you can choose to be scared. It is ultimately your opinion that matters most for a relationship to be sincere between you and I. If you can't handle me at my BEST, you don't deserve me at my WORST... because I'm very vulnerable at my worst, and very intimidating/distracting at my best. I will always have open arms, an open shoulder for anyone with good nature to bare. I will not be fooled by illusion because I create my own illusion with the beauty of your soul. I don't judge based on appearance. I never have and never will. Don't change me. This is the most true me, my favorite way to live. Im refreshed for once in 21 years. I can help anyone that would like to understand tough and bizarre behavior. I am a tough and bizarre person myself. And I make one promise- I will give you the bigger half of my foot long if I see a friend without food to eat. I consider myself a tree hugger, a poet, an artist, a gangsta, an honor roll student, and everything in between... I can do it all.



Sunday, December 5, 2010

Aspirin to aspire the soiled soul

Wind washed the grime of guilt to a gift of clarity. Mistaken by the meaning of closure, I often fold myself in bizarre and frightful situations. Prepared by grasping etiquette and a keen sense, I find myself brave and confident like a warrior. Doubt battles my hope bearing soul… Trust is the savior… Deceit shot and distraught. Refusing to believe I could fall to be naive. To crave the feeling of closure means to crave the acceptance of failing. I refuse to accept failure as an option. I will crave the enlightenment of success until my soul is lifted. Concealing fear from all the years, I can feel myself heal with every drop of thy tears.

Aspirin is a pain killer. Many people rely on pain medication to release pressure. When I was much younger, maybe 10 years ago: I would take a large dose of Ibuprophen in order to relieve my head aches. I should have taken 2… I went for 9 instead… sometimes only 8. Rebellion begins, I began to find hope only within my own cure. My way was the play of all plays.


In form of a thorny green vine, panic streams sense to mind
Codon beams relieve this spine
Mother Envy is a bitch, wearing gloves I beat her twitch
Pain seeped away with this substance and now I know not to feel
I seem to lean on many demons twisting down my spine
Hope to heal this heart of mine before I twine into a bind
No matter what the cost I'll sway so far from getting lost
God, please give me peace of mind…
God, please speed this ill born twine
Panic strikes and streams
Glowing sense beam this thorn filled vine crawling my spine…
Twining and shining is quite like dining with the devil…
Feeling too brave to be afraid, I choose to take this level
Reeling in love, hope, and truth with clues
Spotlight reveals who's who
Shed a skin of blue today
Who am I? Human clay

painful love

Giving mean sneers to her questions of his years, she'd accept anything as an answer. He abused her open heart, mistaking her for tart. The man spelled her to a trance of tweaking weakening her stance. Sweet like strawberry shortcake she believed in trust and hope.
Feaning for dope at any means, he proved to be on his own team.
It began in a connection of freedom, shwag weed in a socket
Then the first night she snuck him into schedule- she was off in a rocket
Dug a hole in her heart then her pocket, but in return gave a worn, torn locket.
Although she felt the pain of betrayal, she continued rewarding his game of portrayal.
He spoke of unconditional love and left her feeling a push to shove.
He helped in a way that no one had before.
Grotesque and weak he slipped and leaked.
Shrewd girl may catch the exploiter, she may stop the killer before he strikes.
She admired his intention to care for her, he made her eat and endure.
She had no fear, he had no care, the two together were the perfect pair.
He tore her from the train and let her run untamed.
Insane and unfair tame, he shifted blame to her name.
Absent morality, so ashamed.
She spilled her thoughts, she spilled her dreams and all the weak points in between.
She built trust with a unconscious soul, a heartbreak felt so worth the toll.
Whacking at his weeds and utilizing all she reads.
The lone wolf conquered when he seeds, plants disease for his own needs.
He needs a zombie or a weak mind…
He feeds on the flesh of human kind.
Mysterious in a hiding way, she dug and tug at him to sway.
He never listened, never glistened, just closed his eyes in an act to listen.
Tells her she is the one he misses, but shredded wishes have him swimming with the fishes. Peace and love, Kisses.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Every movement that surrounds me peeves my mind
Every time I hear a pinch my nerves ache my mind to flinch...
I dust you off but still remember... every way I killed myself with you last December.
The lightest breath of what's unholy reminds me of the matromony.. Reminds me of the days I was skinnier... I always wish I was skinnier.